Valentines Day is a day loaded with expectations. If you're not in a relationship, there's a whole day dedicated to love and romance to make you feel bad. If you do have a partner, chances are you are going to be under immense pressure to try and recreate every romantic scene from every romantic comedy your partner has ever watched.
Valentines Day has become a day for people to rate their relationships based on whether their individual expectations are adequately satisfied rather than just celebrating love in it's purest form. People walk around comparing how much their partner loves them, based upon the gifts they receive. This can put a strain on one's sanity, and the grandiosity of romantic gestures made.
A Time of Worry and Anxiety
Expectations on Valentine's Day might be too much for some to bear. Still, if you suffer from anxiety and worry, then there's a good chance that you're concerned about being disappointed or about disappointing someone. If you do not have a romantic partner, anxiety might make you feel worried about never having a partner or never finding true love. However, you can do things today that will help create joy, love, and worthiness to make Valentines Day what it was meant to be, a holiday that celebrates love.
Here are some hot tips that will help you redeem this day, whether you're single or in a relationship.
Valentines Day tips for those that are single
1. Gather a group of your single friends and make a day of it.
You might feel like you are alone in your loneliness on that day, but your single friends are probably feeling the same way you are. Get the gang together to do something fun as a group. Whether it's going to brunch or hanging out indoors, it'll give you a chance to spend quality time with people you care about.
2. Exchange gifts with your friends as 'Secret Valentines'.
Giving and receiving gifts is for most people, the best thing about Valentines Day. You do not have to be in a relationship to get spoiled and showered with gifts. Gather your friends and have them scribble their names on a piece of paper. Have everyone write down a gift suggestion and draw names to randomly assign a Secret Valentine to each player. Put everyone's name into a hat and have flowers delivered, chocolates bought, or a dinner planned for your pick. The fun of receiving and giving gifts.
3. Babysit for a couple that never gets a night out.
If you love children, then you might want to volunteer your time to babysit for your friends and family who will be out on dates during Valentines Day. If you know someone who would love to take a night off from parenting duties to spend some quality time with their partner, offer to watch their kids for the night since you don't have any plans. You will be doing a favour for loved ones and getting to absorb the infectious energy that children radiate.
4. Spend the Day Doing What You Love
Valentines Day can be a time when we give ourselves permission to receive love and self-compassion. Make a list of things that bring you comfort, like spending time outdoors, or going to a museum. Make the day all about you and doing what brings you joy. You're single, you don't have to try and factor in anyone's happiness but your own! Order that meal from that restaurant no one else likes or watch an entire series of your guilty pleasure show.
Valentines Day tips for those in relationships
1. Make your Expectations Known to Your Partner.
Leave no room for disappointment by letting your partner know exactly what your expectations are for the day. If your partner expects flowers and you show up with a box of chocolates, they'll feel let down. To prevent disappointing your partner on what is supposed to be the day of love, have a clear conversation ahead of time about what you would both feel is appropriate to honour the day.
Communication is key to a happy relationship and a joyful Valentine's Day.
3. Match your expectations to your budget.
On Valentines Day, you may be tempted to measure the value of the gift you receive based on how much it cost. Love is not measured in money, it's weighed in thoughtfulness, tenderness, and a bit of romance. One particular flower can mean as much as two dozen long-stemmed roses. If you both feel like a big expensive night on the town and can afford it, well, why not? But if either one of you would find that embarrassing, wasteful, or overwhelming, maybe you should rethink the idea. If your relationship is to last, money management will be a part of it. Spent within your means and make the day truly meaningful.
4. Disconnect from Media Expectations and Connect With Each Other
Valentines Day is no longer a private romantic holiday spent with loved ones. Social media sites are being used to display in real-time what everyone received and did to celebrate the holiday. People can post pictures and messages instantaneously on social media sites such as Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. Connectivity means, managing your own and your partner's expectations, but you have to factor in those of the media as well.
Pro-tip, for your sanity, make sure you switch off the devices and stay immersed in the love you share with each other.
A final word before you go
Always remember that at the end of the day, the only two people that matter is the two of you. If you looking for some fun things to do, check out this list from the guys at Getaway. (11 things to do for Valentines Day in Gauteng)